I Can’t Fire Them”: Lessons on Leadership, Loyalty, and Letting Go with Tina Caul

Why visionary leaders must make tough people decisions to scale sustainably

When you’re building a business, nothing feels more personal than the people who helped you get it off the ground. For many visionary leaders, the thought of letting someone go — especially someone they like or once relied on — can feel impossible.

That’s why the phrase “I can’t fire them” is one of the most common refrains we hear inside growing businesses. And it’s exactly where my conversation with powerhouse real estate visionary Tina Caul begins on this episode of Unlocked.

From Friends Around the Table to a Bloated Leadership Team

When Tina first brought me in as her fractional integrator, her leadership team looked less like a structured executive group and more like a collection of friends and trusted peers. At one point, she had 12 people sitting around the table — everyone from top producers to her assistant, even her admin’s spouse.

It wasn’t unusual. Visionaries like Tina are natural includers. They build companies around people they love, trust, and want to see succeed. And for a season, that works. Her business grew and thrived. But eventually, growth exposed cracks in the foundation.

Without clear structure, accountability, or defined roles, the leadership team began to drift into politics, silos, and even turf wars. Titles mattered more than results. Protecting responsibilities became more important than collaboration. And Tina, a leader who thrived on inclusion, suddenly felt trapped.

The Pain of Wrong People in the Wrong Seats

As we dug into the dynamics, it became clear that she didn’t just have a bloated team — she had a mismatched one.

• Right people, wrong seats. Talented individuals placed in roles they weren’t equipped to fill.

• Wrong people, right seats. Capable positions filled by those who didn’t align with the company’s culture or values.

• Emotional blind spots. Decisions clouded by loyalty, friendship, or fear of hurting feelings.

Tina’s natural instinct was to try to fix everyone. She bent roles, adjusted titles, and massaged responsibilities just to keep the peace. But over time, that effort left her drained, resentful, and even questioning whether she wanted to keep building the business at all.

The Turning Point: Relationships vs. Reality

Every visionary reaches a breaking point. For Tina, it came when she realized she was withdrawing from her own company. Instead of making the hard calls, she hoped people would “self-select out.” But that strategy only delayed the inevitable.

In our work together, I asked Tina a simple question that became a breakthrough moment:

“If relationships were off the table, would you rehire this person?”

Time and again, the answer was no.

That clarity allowed Tina to start making faster, more objective decisions. She learned to separate her love for people from the needs of the business. And as painful as it was in the moment, every tough call opened the door to healthier alignment and growth.

Building the Right Leadership Team

Fast forward to today: Tina’s company has scaled dramatically, yet her leadership team is leaner, stronger, and more aligned than ever.

One of the keys? Hiring and empowering her full-time integrator, Daria. Where Tina thrives on vision, energy, and inclusion, Daria brings structure, discipline, and tenacity. The combination gives Tina the freedom to pursue new ventures — including retreats, events, and even a new podcast — knowing her business is in good hands.

This isn’t just about having a capable COO or integrator. It’s about finding the puzzle piece leader whose values, habits, and decision-making instincts complement your own.

Self-Leadership as the First Leadership

One of Tina’s most powerful insights is this: “Self-leadership is the first leadership.”

If you can’t lead yourself — manage your mindset, own your triggers, accept feedback, and grow through adversity — you’ll struggle to lead others.

Her current leadership team operates with this mindset every day. They:

• Start by asking, “What was my role in this issue?”

• Seek feedback “with love” and look for even the 5% that might be true.

• Focus on versatility — meeting people where they are instead of demanding conformity.

• Obsess over understanding human psychology, because leading people well requires seeing them clearly.

This shift didn’t just stabilize the company. It reignited Tina’s joy in leading it.

Freedom, Alignment, and the Extra 10%

Today, Tina describes her business in one powerful phrase:

“I don’t have to anymore. I get to.”

She no longer dreads walking into her office. She no longer feels resentful toward her team. Instead, she feels aligned, energized, and free to create.

Her Extra 10% for visionary leaders?

Check in with your soul.

“If money was off the table and you were a billionaire, would you still do this work?”

If the answer is yes, you’re aligned. If the answer is no, it’s time to reevaluate. Because no amount of money, status, or loyalty is worth building a business that doesn’t match your purpose.

Final Thoughts

Tina’s story is a reminder that growth always requires evolution. The leadership team that gets you to one level isn’t always the team that will carry you to the next. As visionaries, we can’t let fear of hurting feelings or breaking relationships hold back the future of the business.

Sometimes the bravest act of leadership is letting go.

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